I recently read Win Every Argument by Mehdi Hasan (a good read), and it brought me back to psychologist Albert Mehrabian’s classic research on communication and trust. His well-known 7/38/55 rule: 7% words, 38% tone, 55% nonverbal.
The statistic has been debated and misused for decades, but the underlying idea still matters: trust and engagement depend less on what we say, and more on how we show up.
Over the past seven years working in digital learning and leadership environments, that insight has shaped how I think about Teams meetings, hybrid collaboration, and the subtle signals we send when we’re not in the same room.
The Psychology of Connection
In person, communication has greater bandwidth with eye contact, tone and micro-expressions all helping us calibrate trust and understanding.
On video, much of that is lost. When cameras are off or attention drifts to inboxes mid-call, the feedback loop that sustains connection disappears.
Neuroscience shows that mutual gaze activates the limbic system and releases oxytocin, a hormone that fosters trust and openness. Without it, meetings become transactional.
You can feel the difference. Engaged meetings have rhythm and momentum. Distracted ones lose energy, coherence, and purpose.
What Changes Online
In virtual environments, a few patterns consistently emerge:
- Cognitive load rises – Fewer cues mean the brain works harder to fill in the gaps, a cause of “Zoom fatigue.”
- Words matter more … and less – Limited nonverbals make mismatches between words and tone more noticeable.
- The face dominates – With a cropped view, expression becomes the main nonverbal signal.
- Tone does the heavy lifting – Vocal warmth and clarity replace gestures as markers of sincerity.
- Sarcasm is risky – Without full-body cues or cultural context, irony often misfires.
Participant Attention
Early in my career, the brilliant Clive Griffiths drilled into me how attention builds trust. That lesson translates perfectly online; How we show up on screen sends powerful signals:
- When a leader is fully present, with camera on, eye-level and engaged, it lifts the room…and people mirror that energy.
- When a leader multitasks or switches off, attention drops across the group.
Presence and distraction are both contagious.
This is the modern echo of Mehrabian’s principle: tone and presence shape trust, even when mediated by camera and bandwidth.
From Education to Enterprise: The Leadership Imperative
If you’re leading a meeting, your attention sets the tone. A distracted leader gives permission for distraction. A present leader creates presence.
Small actions compound:
- Camera on – restores visual trust.
- Eye contact (to the lens) – signals attention and respect.
- No typing, multitasking, or eating – models focus.
- Active listening cues – nods, smiles, short affirmations keep energy flowing.
And in hybrid environments, it helps to be deliberate about how you communicate:
- Posture and gestures – Sit with purpose; use visible hand movements for emphasis.
- Vocal delivery – Keep tone warm and steady; avoid “uptalk” and rushed speech.
- Clarity and closure – Check understanding (“Does this land?”), summarise actions, and confirm ownership before moving on.
Together, these habits bridge the gap between being at a meeting and being in one. They create the kind of digital presence that builds trust, fosters alignment, and signals respect.
A Note on the “93%” Myth
Mehrabian’s 7/38/55 ratio came from narrow lab experiments on inconsistent emotional messages, not from everyday conversation. Scholars like Gonen Dori-Hacohen and Elizabeth Stokoe have traced how the “93% nonverbal” claim became a “zombie statistic.”
The more practical takeaway is simple: verbal and nonverbal cues work together. In virtual settings, we must consciously restore the ones that build trust i.e. eye contact, tone, focus, and empathy.
In an era of constant noise, attention remains the purest form of respect. Give it freely. It may be the quietest, yet most powerful, leadership act of all.
Learning in Practice
At Code Nation, our trainers operate with the same principles that underpin this research.
Every session is built on presence, questioning, and connection, an approach that draws directly from Bloom’s taxonomy and evidence-based pedagogy. Trainers guide learners to move from understanding to applying, analysing, and creating, always building confidence and trust through engagement.
That same approach translates into leadership. When people feel seen and involved, they listen differently, think more deeply, and contribute with purpose. Whether it’s a classroom or a Teams call; attention, curiosity, and respect remain the foundations of meaningful progress for learning, leadership, and trust.
Academic References
- Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes.
- Mehrabian, A., & Wiener, M. (1967). Decoding of Inconsistent Communications.
- Mehrabian, A., & Ferris, S. R. (1967). Inference of Attitudes from Nonverbal Communication in Two Channels.
- Kellerman, J., Lewis, J., & Laird, J. (2014). Mutual Gaze and Limbic Activation.
- Guerrero, L. K., & Floyd, K. (2006). Nonverbal Communication in Close Relationships.
- Birdwhistell, R. L. (1970). Kinesics and Context.
- Dori-Hacohen, G. (2023). 93% of All Misinformation Is Nonverbal: How a Zombie Statistic Came and Stayed.
David Muir
Founder & Managing Partner
Code Nation